“Growing” a Bird

I absolutely love…pranks. But not just any pranks. I love playing pranks on people. It is what I do when I get bored. This is why I tell people that I need to be busy at work!

Anyways, I love the pranks that I can use my blondeness for. One day, during my grad years, I decided to play one of these “blonde” pranks.

I should actually call it nighttime or maybe early morning. Anyways the setting was 12 am at a store that will remain unnamed.

My friends and I were shopping. And I stopped them and told them that I was going to play a joke on the cash register person. They all agreed that it would be quite humorous. So I grabbed my bag of bird seed and went up to the register. I also grabbed a pack of gum so that I wouldn’t waste her or my time completely.

I got up to the register and said, “Ma’am is this good bird seed?”

“Yes, a lot of people buy it.”

Then I asked the question that was really on my mind, “How long does it take to grow a bird with it?”

She looked puzzle but then realized what she thought I was asking. She asked me to clarify, “You mean help the bird gain weight?”

I said with a look of bewilderment, “No, I mean like when you plant a flower seed it grows flowers… so I want to plant the birdseed in the ground and grow a bird…”

At this point, the lady looked at me with a shocked look and said, “Are you listening to yourself?”

“Yes, ma’am. I want to grow a bird. I want to put it in the ground, and I want it to bloom like a flower.”

This shocked the cashier even more. “ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF??”

I looked at her with a feigned confused look, and said, “You mean, you can’t grow a bird with birdseed? Oh, then I don’t want this!”

I think both the lady and me learned a valuable lesson that day about growing birds.